HAIL TO ALL RAINBOW SOLDIERS AROUND THE WORLD!
I hope you were missing me!
I wasn't into sims stuff lately just because I was not in the mood. But I connected my vagina thing to 666 v of heavy metal power and recovered mana!
I'd like to dedicate today's entry to my real life friends who don't play sims but still show interest in the weird shit I post here. They are always very supportive and caring, no matter how embarassing things I do with their selfsims! I must stop here and answer one of them, the one who was overly interested in seeing "a collection of cocks" here: why don't you come and see my own private collection of cocks? Actually I have only one but I'm still sure you will love chokin' on it, you pretty little slut! <and hell no, we are not talkin' bout the birds, not me at least>
So yeeah, thank you guys <insert I would not be here without you kind of shit here>, you're my heroes, I love you, take off your panties!
Ok, back to the actual topic, the idea of a manwhore contest came to my mind quite a long time ago and just because the year 2012 is coming to an end, I decided to make it happen!
I'm delighted to present you the prettier part of my model group! All of 'em compete for the prestigious title of Manwhore Of The Year 2012!
The winner is gonna take some fabulous prizes:
- An unique opportunity to be uploaded here and being tortured by people all over
the world!
- exclusive photooshot in bikini
- gorgeous mansion in Monte Vista
- an lifetime supply of Astroglide (it will come in handy)
Official sponsor of Manwhore of the Year 2012 competition
- the winner will be also free from duty of providing sexual services to my selfsim!
So yeah, vote for your favourite! Choose the one you consider the prettiest, the smartest, the most badass or the one you simply pity because of his miserable existence!
WARNING PICTURE SPAM
MAY CONTAIN OFFENSIVE MATERIAL
(if you feel offended, take a piece of paper, write your complain and eat it)
MAY CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE
DIARRHEA OR THE WEIRDEST BONER EVER
CANDIDATE NO 1
VonfregeINC's AllStar no 1! Voldi used to work on a military base but it didn't quite suit his fragile nature. Secretly he was dreamin' bout being just like a Marylin Monroe, a blond bombshell who seduces all men around the world. He just wanted to dance, wear frilly dresses and have fun like every girl do! One day to remember he heard the Lady Gagme's song Born This Way and that was when he decided to express himself! (pun fuckin' intended)
He deserted from the army and pursued his dream to become le danseur.
But Voldi is not just a pretty face, he's quite a smartass! All of his free time he spends in his workshop, using his brain to produce an ultimate weapon of mass destruction.
He used to be quite shy when it comes to sex and luv but Lady Gaga's music released the beast inside of him! And just because his heart is as big as everything else he has, he spreads the unicorny aura of luv and gives it to everyone, he doesn't care how old you are and how bad you look and how loud you scream for help!
His motto is you can't catch herpes twice.
He loves everything that's pink, girly, ruffled and fluffy. He has a secret Hello Kitty diary to keep the track of people he has killed on his way to stardom.
Candidate No 2!
Gabriel used to have a good life. A life of farmer who loves his land and his family. A man who is proud of what he has achieved.
Unfortunately, all good things come to an end. Sadly, his beloved wife, russian imigrant Sasha ran away with her lover to perform with the travelling circus. Gabriel totally broke down. He started to live the alcohol-fueled life of crime, spending his time on bar brawls and robbery.
Finally he got over Sasha, but still, he needed some help with the potato field and 12 of their children, so he decided to bring the bitch back:
Gotta give that bitch a manhandling. Bitches love manhandling!
The couple got together and the love is in the air again. Gabriel and Sasha are expecting another baby!
Does she look pregnant enough to make it look funny?
Gabriel is probably the most manly manwhore of them all and probably the only one who has never been penetrated per rectum. He's not a bad guy. Just don't cross his land or he will kick your ass. Don't steal his wife, too, unless you want him to beat the shit out of you!
Candidate no:3
Meet Paveuchi-san, voted
himself the ultimate guitar hero of the world, Middle-Earth and Futurama Universe! Unfortunately, his musical career hasn't moved out of his garage yet, but he doesn't care as his hot guitar gets him laid. And he considers it the most important part of every musician's life.
He is into trve metal things like grave-robbing, eating corpses, raping virgins, burning down the churches and whatnot, fortunately his mom keeps him away from doin' naughty stuff like that:
Thanks to being raised by a loving and caring woman he's really a sweetheart. He doesn't not kill unless he's really hungry. His cheerful attitude makes him quite popular along both sexes but his heart belongs to the only one. The one who constantly gives him a pain in the ass (PUN NOT INTENDED!)
Caught in a Rad Bromance!
He's terribly scared of impregnating a woman (not sure about the men). He wears two layers of condoms and kicks his ladies down the stairs just to be sure. Apart from that, he's a gentleman from head to the toes!
And he will never ever wear girly clothes. Never.
Candidate no: 4
Once upon a time there was a dude who has everything a human being could ask for: beauty, class, intelligence and plethora of high heels.
Well, except for the one thing - love. Blondie was cursed by a evil fairy to fall for heterosexual dudes only.
Evil Fairy. I have seen her somewhere before...
Unfortunately, those straight guys couldn't stand one thing, that thing inside his pants. Frustration made him want to cut it off, however, psychological testing results was clear - he's a fu*king true man inside.
Determined, he decided to have an illegal sex change in Mexico. The problem was the price. ONE HUNDRED BILLION PESOS! Because 20 $ was out of his reach, Blondie got himself a well-paid job. And that's when he forgot about his goal.
His life is now devoted to work. Work is the only true love of him. He doesn't have much time for love affairs but sometimes he use his personal charm to seduce people who can do him a favour.
He has a wide selection of contacts to choose from when he needs something. He smokes a lot to reload stress. He looks hot when lying on the desk:
Don't leeeaaaaaaave me haaaaaaaaaaanging on the teleeeeeeephooone.....
He may be too busy to care for his problems now, but deep inside he's torn apart between being a real tuff dude and lookin' stunning on stilettos...
They say a real woman should has a pair of stilettos, an extravagant shade of lipstick and a poor human being who can never have her. Blondie has it all.
Candidate no: 5
Alejandro Canaliorra was born son of the gitana princess and the
moon under the name of Jovan Wdupevlazic, somewhere in the mountains of Romania.
The story of his life was the inspiration for the movie
Pretty Romanian.
He was discovered by a filthy rich transvestite scientist Lordi Voldi who met him back in the time when Alejandro was just a regular, half-orphan, juvenile hooker selling himself for drugs. He walked off the street into his life and stole his wallet so Voldi decide to took him home as a test subject. But Alejandro's charming gypsy eyes quickly captivated Voldi and he fell madly in love. The scientist taught Alejandro how to read, write, do a make up thing and wear expensive clothing, slowly turning him into a sophisticated courtesan. Finally, our bohemian prince decided to ran away, fed up with all those painful sexual intercourses with Voldi.
On his way to become the most expensive manwhore ever, he had more jobs than Barbie herself, mostly connected with teasin' and pleasin' old, rich, horny ladies.
He also starred a movie he isn't really proud of....
Finally he met a
cocaine mafia boss business woman Eve Whatsherjewishname and his life became an endless buffet of cupcakes. They
got married she bought herself a new pet:
Sometimes the bohemian roots are showing and he escapes the golden cage just to taste freedom and bite every woman's boob like a mad poodle (sorry if any poodle is offended with that comparision)
Or gets bitten by another man, what's the difference.
He feels free when he rides his motorcycle dressed in a faggotry way:
His favourite activites are looking fabulous, shoppin' for gay skinny jeans, workin' out, bein' a pain in the ass, making offensive remarks toward your appearance, makin' sure you know your hair aren't as gorgeous as his hair, havin' random sex with random people, having babies with random women, waxing his chest, being a victim of sexual violence, playin' xbox, causing drama, having bi-polar disorder, insulting your mom. Still everybody likes him for some reason. Maybe it's him, maybe it's Maybelline.
He's gonna have a beauty hour....
Well, maybe four beauty hours.
Candidate no: 6
Michaił is a living biological weapon of the mass destruction! His never washed body emites a deadly poisonous gas that can knock off a grown up man. He can also shoot 666 radioactive farts per minute. That's why NATO keeps him closed under the key! Well, they don't have to. Michaił is too fucking lazy to step out of his room. When he was 15, his parents left him home alone to go on holiday and he had to eat his twin brother to survive.
People see him as a human waste just because he's a lazy slob but they judge the book by the cover. Under the six layers of dirt there is a vivid mind of a brillant man. The unbreakable cocoon of filth hides a soul of a poet. Alone in his prison, Michaił lets his heart talk thru the beautiful words...
With his talent and the amount of free time, Michaił could easily beat the Shakespeare dude. But he doesn't care. He couldn't care less. Just look.
Who the fuck needs fame, friends, job, love and life when you have video games? We simmers know someting 'bout it!
Candidate no: 7
Pshemyslav is a totally sweet guy, with perfect manners and romantic attitude. He's loving, caring and full of respect for women. That's probably why they dump him constantly!
After one cruel lady broke his heart and denied his manwhore power, Pshemyslav decided to lay all his love on the unwanted children!
No, not in the way you're thinking of >.< He just adopted those poor things to give 'em a proper home! He loves children and the children love him back!
He needs no love affairs to prove his worth. He's an everyday hero and this shit is much harder than being a hollywood drug addict drama queen movie star. You're probably thinking now "Awww yes, I'm gonna vote for this guy, he seems the only normal one". I have to warn you, he's not quite normal. He's not normal at all...
I mean he DOESN'T LIKE COOKIES! What kind of deviant does not like cookies?!
***
Awwww, now that you've made it I'm not gonna bore you any longer. Just some important things for you to do before the world ends:
1. Like me on
FACEBOOK!
2. Wear a warm scarf. No one wants to be sick in bed while the world is ending around X.X
3.
Grab somebody sexy and tell hey, give me everything tonight! For all we know, we might not get tomorrow, let's do it tonight!
